Well, here we are. Our house is for sale! We have had our first 'viewing' - within a matter of hours of the estate agent leaving. It is all a bit strange.
Firstly - my house is as clean as it has ever been. And de-cluttered. We got rid of soooo much stuff on ebay and freecycle and advertised in the post office window. We did a few minor repair jobs and we painted one bedroom.
I rather like it now. I don't mean that I want to stay, or have changed my mind, but it's a little bit like being at sea in a small boat with a rising swell. No sight of land ahead and fast losing sight of land behind us. We have lived here for 16 years. That's the longest I have ever lived anywhere. I guess I really did put down some roots here.
My children grew up here, well the younger ones anyway. Once upon a time our house was full of people... children, pets and an au pair... so noisy, so busy, so hectic, even chaotic, and such fun balanced of course by some of the saddest times of my life. Now we are down to one grown up child left. The people who came to view the house have two primary school aged children. They are where we were sixteen years ago and I had forgotten what features someone with young kids would be looking for. We bought this house because it was the ony one in our budget that was big enough to fit us all in, it was always meant to be a home, not an investment. It has turned out to be not only a home but a very good investment. and I can't help but feel that if we approach the purchase of our new home in Spain in the same way that we did this one then we should be ok. But I sort of want someone to buy this house because they love it and want a home and at the same time I can't imagine any one else here, or the place full of other people's things.
Yes I want to leave. It's what I have dreamed about for many many years now. This was always the plan. I did not think that it would be so hard.