Monday, 18 January 2010

Sudden!

I may have mentioned sometime before Christmas that my step mother went into a nursing home. Well, she didn't settle down too well, in fact, she hasn't settled at all. She has Parkinsons and is 83 and the brain has slowed down a little. On some days she is fine but other days she is really not with it at all. Back in September she fell off her commode and broke her upper arm. My father, who is 86, couldn't possibly look after her so she had to stay in hospital for some time until it healed. She then came home for week or two during which time it became obvious that my father could not cope with her. Since then she has been in a care home. Apparently it is rather posh but she doesn't seem to like it at all. Since all control over her life has been taken over by other people - many of whom are strangers (doctors, nurses, social workers) - she has retreated inside herself and is protesting in the only way she knows how. Refusing to eat, throwing (sorry spilling) food and drink, not walking (even with help) to the toilet. This has pushed the staff to their limits it would seem and my father has witnessed her being roughly managed and when he complained he too was treated badly - and in fact the medical staff now talk to him as though he had lost his marbles. Which he most certainly has not.

Anyway, time went on and clothes and money belonging to my step mother began to disappear and my father then complained to the social workers who said they would organise a move but that it could be up to 30 miles away. I can't tell you how much the last few months have taken their toll. Tomorrow morning I am flying up to Scotland to visit. I hope that since my father no longer has the energy to 'fight' the system that I will be able to help get some sensible solution organised. I am not really looking forward to going.

I have booked a one way flight - I have no idea when I will be coming back. I shall take my computer but I don't know when I will be able to get online.

Please bear with me, I will update when I can.

5 comments:

  1. What a horrid situation. I hope that it can be sorted as soon as possible and that your mum will be happier. I'm sure you will be a great support for your poor dad, this must be very hard for him.

    I don't blame you for not looking forward to going, I imagine it will be tough. Good luck and remember to take time for yourself as well. Take care x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my goodness, how awful for your parents. There has been a programme about care homes on the tv recently, that they don't look after their residents very well. I haven't watched it, but your parents seem to be living in one of those homes.

    I do hope you can get it sorted out, it's terrible that our elderly people are treated so badly. Good luck, don't worry about not posting, this is far more important, we will be here when you get back.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I empathize, having gone through a difficult and similar situation a few years back. Never easy! I hope your father will accept and appreciate your help, and you will be able to improve the situation for both your mother and your father...and keep your spirits up!

    ReplyDelete
  4. good luck with your journey and lots of love to your parents - loving the blog and hoping you are well

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm sorry that this difficult situation has struck your family. I hope and pray that everything works out well.
    Blessings . . .

    ReplyDelete

You must register to comment - anonymous comments are no longer accepted on this site - sorry I know it's a pain to register for yet another account and remember yet another password but I just got too much spam mail ... I do love to hear from people who read my blog so a big thank you to those who make the effort.